Keriana- Mom, you are my bestie-est best friend.
Me - I am?! Great!
Keriana- See I have lots of best friends. But you are the bestie-est. You're even better than Grandma ... but just cause you live closer...
Tristin- Mom can I go play with XXXXX?
Me- No. You have to finish your homework and have something to eat first.
Tristin- Moooooommmmmm! You have the stupidest rules. Your rules smell like Dad's farts.
Me- I didn't know rules smelled. (trying desperately hard not to totally loose it)
Tristin- Well they do. And I hate stinky rules, farts and school! (stomp stomp stomp)
Cheyanne- So there's this boy at school and he likes me and wants me to be his girlfriend.
Me- You aren't supposed to have boyfriends.
Cheyanne- I know and I told him that. But....
Me- But what?
Cheyanne- But I like him to.
Me- And what would your father say?
Cheyanne - That if he was to bring him one shark, two giraffes, a tiger and a kangaroo he could be my boyfriend.
Me- I am NOT cleaning up their poop.
Cheyanne- No. That is Dad's job. He wants the animals.
Tristin- Mom. Cheyanne made me kiss XXXXXX in the summer.
Me- Yes I know and we've already talked about how that was wrong
Tristin- Mom. I think I want to marry XXXXX when I grow up like you.
Me- Ok. We'll talk about it when you get as old as me.
Tristin - K. Will it be ok to kiss her then?
Me- Yes. But you have to get permission first.
Tristin- Who do I have to ask for THAT?! This kissing stuff takes a lot of work!
(Ummm Heeellllllllooooo! He's 5!)